Buddhism teaches acceptance of what is. Okay, fine, I accept that he wanted a separation. I accept that our marriage is over. I accept that I feel like shit. But that doesn’t mean I have to stay feeling like this. Acceptance is not the same as condoning. Acceptance is not the same as stasis. You can accept that you feel the way you do now while deciding that you want to feel another way—then planning actions to help you feel the way you want to feel.

Today is the Chinese New Year, and, as we exit the Year of the Rooster, we enter the Year of the Dog.Dog is about loyalty, finding your unique place in the pack, standing your ground, and play. Loyalty is normally quiet, but if someone claims you are being disloyal, you can crow about your loyalty. Point out the ways in which you are indeed loyal to them or to your cause. 

One thing that’s really helped me get through the transition of a recent separation has been to create a ritual. Now, I’m not a creature of habit, and I’m not particularly good at doing something every day. The whole “do a little bit every day” thing doesn’t work for me. If it works for you, that's awesome. If not, that’s okay. We can create other rituals that suit us better.

Spirit Animal Bat

Spirit animal bat's gifts include: Radical change in perspective. Finding your way through the dark. Roosting and hibernating. Clairaudience or clairvoyance. Creativity and propagating creativity. Timing.